History, (the study of or a record of) past events considered together, especially events of a particular period, country, or subject*. Today’s post will be about my history with he who should not be named. I know that I’ve already outlined it in a previous post, but because of recent events i.e. read my last post has led me to reconsider the history between us.
The first time I “met”- I’m using the term met very loosely here, was on an anonymous website called teenchat.com approximately in 2012, so about three years ago. I don’t really remember much of what we talked about but it was really fun an exciting talking to him. I remember talking to him almost everyday. Awhile after talking he wanted to meet up and hook up. Then things started to change. I was scared of meeting him. I didn’t want to ruin what we had before this. Unfortunately I chose to meet up and hook up with him. It was actually quite fun and exciting initially, but as per usual things got complicated. I started to develop feelings for him. And I knew that if I told him, he would end it as feelings made hooking up complicated. So I kept silent about it and hoped the feelings would go away. Who am I kidding, I wanted you to like me, to reciprocate the feelings. But unfortunately that never happened. So in order to soften the pain, I took the advice of my closest friend and blocked you from contacting me.
That period was great initially. I was no longer burdened with your presence and my unreciprocated feelings. I was free at last. That feeling did not last long however. I still had lingering feelings for you which led me to unblock you and start communicating again. We kept this cycle, or rather I kept the cycle of blocking and unblocking, which ultimately led to the events of yesterday. Yesterday, you told me you couldn’t deal with my cycles of blocking and unblocking so you decided to let go. And let go for good this time. No more contact. That hurt me, but it did give a good chance to reflect on our history. I will always remember the good stuff in the past, it was truly a fun experience. And I am truly sorry for my attitude, I really should have been more honest about how I felt about you. It would have save me and you from a lot of problems.
Thanks for reading guys.
*- From Camridge Online dictionary