Dear Eighteen Year Old Me

So it is the dawn of a New Year, 2015. Last year in 2014 I recently turned eighteen. I am now legally, by Australian law, an adult. Amazing right? How surviving eighteen years legally entitles you to be an adult, capable of making life changing decisions such as deciding your career, smoking, drinking etc… The irony is that a couple of months ago you had to ask for permission to go to the bathroom.

So seeing that I had to make crazy life decisions at the age of eighteen with absolutely no clue on what to do, I obviously had some regrets about my decisions last year, so here is a letter to the eighteen year old me.

Dear Eighteen year old me,

Congratulations on surviving eighteen years! I know you’re shocked that you’ve survived this far right? See? Life can be hard but it does get better. I know that you’re scared of the adult life, making all these decisions based on some mark or rank (whatever the ATAR is) but don’t worry about it. You’ve survived high school, and now you’ll do fine in life!

Now to other more important matters at hand… Like making friends in uni… Yes I know that being the nerdy, socially awkward being that you are, you’re feeling freaky and scared about making new friends in university. But don’t worry too much. I know that you’ve heard it a million times but everyone in first year is usually in the same boat as yourself. You should go out more and make more friends. Don’t be so insecure about yourself. You may have your faults but you also have a lot of good things about you. You are kind, a great listener and a wonderful, loyal friend. You have much to offer in any relationship.

And he who should not be named… Yes him. So this year you decided to go cold turkey until the end of university and all of a sudden you decided to go and talk to him. Step away from the keyboard. I repeat step away from the keyboard. He is only going to hurt you again. He only wants to use you for sex, he’s merely using you as a tool. You need to man up and learn to cut him loose. He will only use and use you again until you are nothing, until you are just an empty shell with nothing inside of you. Save yourself the shame and pain and get out of there. I know it’ll be hard and tempting but you’ll thank yourself for it.

Healthy choices and healthy living. You did do rather quite well this year in terms of keeping healthy, you kept your activity levels up and you did try to eat healthy this year, so good on you! However don’t slack off, towards of the end of the year you slacked off and you put on weight. Keep up the good work and don’t be tempted by the food. Keep up your motivation to exercise.

Religion… I know you haven’t thought much about it, but do think about it. The irony is that he who should not be named did bring you closer to God and religion and got you thinking about it. However you should do more about it than think. Try and do some of his suggestions (never thought  there would be a day where I would listen him).

Overall you had a good year. There were many regrets and things you could have done better last year but you pulled through and changed. Time to conqueror this year, and I’m sure you’ll do even better this year.

Sincerely, your soon to be nineteen old self


Sex equals love?

Back when I was a naive little girl I used to think that sex was the most physically and emotionally intimate thing that two people could share. It was the singular, most pure thing someone could share with another person. Now as I grow up, I’m not so sure about that anymore…

For quite a long time, I only thought that the only relationship between two people was either being married or being a boyfriend/ girlfriend or friends. Then I met the almost boyfriend and he changed me. He first introduced the idea of friends with benefits to me.

In a friends with benefits relationship (or rather a lack of a relationship) two parties agree to have sexual contact whilst remaining friends and forgoing any emotional commitment. This term friends with benefits (fwb for short) was rather strange and foreign to me. At first, I thought I could take this type of physical relationship, it was incredibly fun and amazing for me. It was the first time I had embarked on experimenting sexually. I had never tried anything like that before. But then as time went on I started to develop feelings for him (and you already know how that turned out). So I tried blocking him out, but if you’ve been following my blog, you will already know that did not turn out well. So eventually he and I had sex. It was pleasurable physically and not what I was expecting, however emotionally it left me feeling used and dirty, like some common street lady of the night.

I always knew that sex didn’t mean emotional intimacy from the time I knew about fwb but it didn’t actually hit me until I had sex with him. I never knew the full consequence of my actions and what it would do to me. So here the lesson of the week, sex doesn’t mean love. Sex may mean love to certain people, but nowadays it is merely a physical release for most people…

Random thoughts I had today.

I’ll be honest here, I have never had a boyfriend before. I have never been in a relationship before, never been in love, never had my heart broken, never felt the joys and highs of love and have never felt the pain and anguish of a break up.

I tried to be in a relationship with someone, but it turned out he was just using me… And yes, yes I know, I promised myself that I wasn’t going to talk or blog about him, but bare with me. This got me thinking about relationships and dating. How does one define a relationship or when someone is an item or couple? Is there certain criteria or time limits that must be achieved in order to be defined as a couple?

I often also wondered about attraction. Everyone states that inner beauty matters and that beauty is only skin deep, but from what I have observed from online activity and real life activity beauty is only skin deep. Men only go after the pretty ones with looks…

It is such a curious thing relationships, dating and attraction. It seemed so easy in my head but for some reason it is rather complex… But such is life, simple but never easy.

New Exercise Routine

So it’s a new year, so it should only be right that it will be a new me this year. And this means new exercise routine! So here an update on my new exercise routine.

Monday- Saturday:
7:10- 8pm
Running/ Walking in the park

First week: 1 min run/ 2 min walk X10 for 6 days
Second week: 2 min run/ 1 min walk X10 for 2 days
                       3 min run/ 1 min walk X7 + 2 mins run for 2 days
                       4 min run/ 1 min walk X6 for 2 days
Third Week: 5 min run/ 1 min walk X6 for 4 days
                     6 min/ 1 min walk X4 + 2 min run for 2 days
Fourth Week: 8 min run/ 1 min walk X3 + 3 min run for 2 days
                       9min run/ 1 min walk X3 for 2 days
                       10 min run/ 1 min walk X2 + 8 min run for 1 day
                       11 min run/ 1 min walk X2 + 6 min run for 1 day

This is actually an eight week program but I shall see how I’ll do for a month.
The program can be found here.

Monday- Sunday
11pm- 12am
Blogilates workout calender.
The workout calender can be access here, but you must subscribe first.

Here to a new year!

Big Hero 6

So here in Sydney it is the second day of the new year, 2015. And I believe one of my resolutions was to post more on blogger and to post more about positive things! So here is a movie review of one of the happiest feel good film I have seen in a long time, Big Hero 6.

So Big Hero 6 was released on Boxing Day in Sydney and I went the day after to see with a friend who I had not seen in a long time. It was a really funny movie which made me laugh and cry a little bit at every stage of the movie. I did however feel it was too clichéd, like I knew what was going to happen and it was predictable. But it was a feel good feel nevertheless, and great for cheering someone up. I’d highly recommend it to anyone who needs a little cheering up and for little kids.

New Years Resolution

We all have regrets. We all have people, things and events that we wish we had never happened or encountered. I guess one of the biggest regrets was meeting my almost boyfriend. But today (well here in Sydney) is the eve of a new year. It’s time to brush away the past and move on with the times. So this post will be dedicated to my New Year’s Resolutions.

My List of Resolutions:
Maintain my weight and be more active.
Maintain my distinction WAM.
Get a job and volunteer more.
Be more social and proactive.
Be kinder to people.
Be more honest and tactful.
Blog more and blog about positive things.
Stay away from the almost boyfriend.

What’s are your New Years Resolutions?

Ferrero Rocher

Ahh it is the time for Christmas and New Years… We get stuffed, feast and dine on all sorts of delicacies. One of my favourite foods is Ferrero Rocher. If you don’t know what Ferrero Rocher is, it is a chocolate ball covered in peanuts. The inside has Nutella with small pieces of nuts.

It is rather expensive in Australia but around Christmas and New Years the large food stores usually have them on sale. Yesterday a friend of mine was staying over at my place so I bought them. It was indeed a delicious delicacy!

These are however extremely high in calories soo I shall be heading off to exercise now!!

Thanks guys for reading and have a great day wherever you are!!